Anastasiia Leiman recently shared something that stopped me mid-scroll. She wrote: "I make 5-figure months and here is what my 2 kids are getting for Christmas: $19.99 monster truck, $18 book, $12 box of chocolates, $40 ballet gear... $89.99 Total Christmas spend." No iPads. No e-bikes. No shopping frenzy.

And yet, as she went on to explain, her children are also "getting" something far more valuable: a month of travel around France, weeks in Italy with grandparents, time in China, New Zealand, and on the Great Barrier Reef.

That contrast hit me hard.

On one side: modest Christmas gifts that would not turn any child into the star of the playground brag circle.
On the other: a life deliberately designed around experiences, skills, and memories.

As Anastasiia Leiman pointed out, she had just spoken to someone who pays $150k per year in private school fees and another who pays a $10k monthly mortgage on a large house with a pool. Both confessed they wished they could afford to travel.

Her conclusion was blunt and powerful:

"Trust me none of things such as private school or huge house with the pool defines the future happiness and success of your kids. Here is what does: the character they built, the love & time they experienced with you, the world they have seen, the life skills they got."

In this post, I want to expand on what Anastasiia surfaced so clearly: the quiet but radical idea that how we define "giving our kids the best" might be completely backwards.

The Myth of "Providing the Best" for Our Kids

Many parents equate "providing the best" with three big-ticket categories:

Expensive private schooling
A large, impressive home in a "good" neighborhood
Big, shiny gifts that show we can afford nice things

It is not that any of these are bad. Private education can be fantastic. A spacious home can be comfortable. Tech gifts can be fun and even educational.

The problem is when these become the primary proof that we are good parents.

As Anastasiia Leiman highlighted, there are parents who stretch themselves to the financial limit for school fees or a big mortgage, yet quietly admit: they cannot afford to travel, they rarely have real downtime with their kids, and they live in constant financial pressure. On paper, it looks like they are giving their children "everything". In reality, some of the most formative ingredients are missing.

Why Experiences Beat Expensive Things

Look at the list she shared for 2026:

A month of travel around France to practice French
A few weeks exploring history in Italy with grandparents
A few days discovering the technological advancement of China
A week skiing in New Zealand
A few weeks snorkelling and exploring the Great Barrier Reef

At first glance, this could sound like a luxury itinerary. But the key insight is not "travel is better because it is more glamorous". The core point is that these are experiences designed for learning, connection, and perspective.

Experiences like these:

Expose kids to new languages and cultures
Build adaptability and curiosity
Strengthen relationships with grandparents and parents
Teach practical life skills (planning, navigation, patience, resilience)
Create shared stories that get retold for years

Compare that to an e-bike or tablet. The excitement spike is huge on day one, then slowly drops. The gift often becomes just another object in the house.

Material gifts make kids happy in the moment, as Anastasiia wrote. Experiences, however, help shape who they become.

What Actually Predicts Future Happiness and Success

Anastasiia Leiman summarized it beautifully with four simple elements:

"the character they built"
"the love & time they experienced with you"
"the world they have seen"
"the life skills they got"

Let’s unpack each one.

1. Character They Build

Character grows through challenge, responsibility, and exposure to different ways of living. Kids who see more of the world tend to:

Understand that people live differently and still thrive
Develop empathy for people unlike themselves
Learn that comfort is not guaranteed and that discomfort is survivable

You can spend $150k a year on schooling, but if a child never has to adapt, negotiate, or step outside their bubble, their character may lag behind their academic credentials.

2. Love & Time They Experience With You

No private school or big house can replace the simple act of being present.

When a parent is constantly working to maintain high monthly expenses, the cost is often time: time for conversation, shared meals, joint hobbies, and unstructured play.

Travel, day trips, simple family rituals—these are vehicles for time and attention. They are where children learn they matter, not because of what they achieve but because of who they are.

3. The World They Have Seen

"The world" does not have to mean five continents and a full passport. It can be:

Different neighborhoods in your own city
Nature reserves, museums, community events
Meeting people from different professions, cultures, and generations

What matters is expanding your child’s mental map of what life can look like. When kids see variety, they feel more agency in designing their own path. They realize there is no single "correct" version of success.

4. Life Skills They Gain

Life skills rarely come wrapped in shiny paper. They are learned when something goes wrong:

A delayed flight
Getting lost in a new place
Ordering food in another language
Budgeting holiday money

These micro-moments are training grounds for problem-solving, communication, emotional regulation, and resilience.

Again, none of this requires luxury. What it requires is intention.

Redefining "Affording": It’s Not Only About Income

One of the most striking parts of Anastasiia’s post is the contrast: she makes 5-figure months, spends under $90 on Christmas gifts, and invests heavily in experiences. Meanwhile, parents with far higher visible expenses say they cannot afford to travel.

This raises a confronting question: when we say "I can’t afford X", are we always talking about income – or sometimes about priorities?

For many families, the numbers truly are tight and there is no hidden margin. But for others, a portion of the financial stress is driven by choices anchored in social comparison:

The "right" suburb
The "right" car
The "right" school brand

Anastasiia’s example shows another model: consciously spending less on status symbols and more on shared experiences.

Practical Ways to Apply This (Even Without International Travel)

You might be reading this thinking, "A month in France isn’t realistic for us." That is okay. The core philosophy is portable to any budget.

Here are a few ways to live Anastasiia Leiman’s message in your own context:

Swap one big toy for a weekend trip, museum membership, or class your child is curious about.
Create a "skills fund" instead of a "stuff fund": sports, arts, coding, languages, public speaking.
Plan local "culture days" where you cook food from another country, learn basic phrases, and explore its history together.
Schedule protected family time that is phone-free and agenda-light: walks, board games, cooking nights.
Involve your kids in planning experiences so they learn budgeting, researching, and decision-making.

The point is not to copy someone else’s itinerary. It is to ask: If experiences and character matter most, how would we redesign our spending and our schedule?

Choosing Wisely

Anastasiia ended her post with a simple line: "Material gifts might make your kids happy in the moment. Experiences will make them happy in life. Choose wisely."

That is the invitation for all of us.

Not to feel guilty if we like nice things.
Not to shame anyone who chooses private school or a larger home.

But to be brutally honest about what we are actually optimizing for as parents: appearances, or depth? Status, or skills? Impressive photos, or invisible character traits?

If we believe, as Anastasiia does, that happiness and success grow from character, love, perspective, and life skills, then our calendars and bank statements will slowly start to reflect that.

And maybe, like her, we will find that an $89.99 Christmas can sit comfortably alongside a very rich childhood indeed.

This blog post expands on a viral LinkedIn post by Anastasiia Leiman, Helping ex-corporates turned consultants & coaches make revenue in their biz from Year 1 using LinkedIn🔸Ex-Fin Director (15y) managing $1B bizs -> 6-figure Coachsultant in 12 months 🔸ICF-accredited🔸Speaker🔸Mum of 2. View the original LinkedIn post →